TO NEW MUMS & THEIR CHILDLESS FRIENDS  

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A childless friend of mine commented to me the other day that when she caught up with a mutual friend who is a new mum that our friend had nothing to talk about except the baby. Whilst the childless lady was open to discussing the baby, she felt there should be a time limit on how long a mum can talk about the ins and outs of her baby. She questioned whether she really needed to know about the texture and frequency of this little cherub’s bowel movements?

Now I’m really torn on this subject because I have stood in both women’s shoes. As I explained to my childless friend, when you spend every waking (and sleeping) hour of the day caring for a baby you don’t have much else going on in your universe. You do tend to be focused wholly and solely on your baby, and heck who doesn’t want to hear about an embarrassing exploding nappy episode? If our friend had just moved house or started a new job, then she would be focused on talking about that subject. It makes sense that we talk about what we are experiencing.

However, I’d like to point out to the new mums that the world hasn’t stopped turning just because you had a child. Your childless friends miss the ‘old’ you who could laugh about common experiences and discuss topics that are more relatable to the greater community. They are also living life and might like to see that you are interested in what is going on in their lives, as much as you are intensively focused on yours.

I guess all I can say is that friendship is a two way street and whilst we are all guilty of being self indulgent by talking about what is monopolizing our time, we need to make time for our friends as they are a great support network and will hopefully still be around to hang out with you once your kids grow up and don’t need you 24/7.

Mums – keep your baby focused conversations for other mums who can empathize with your situation and make sure you keep a bit of the real you available to nurture friendships with others not on the same journey as you!

 

Do you think there should be a time limit on talking about your baby, or do you think that a friend should want to listen to anything you have to say? Let me know your thoughts!

 

 

(Photo courtesy of David Castillo Dominici, freedigitalphotos.net)

THE MINI-BREAK

We are so busy living our everyday lives that sometimes it takes a change of scenery and routine to re-connect.  This last weekend our family packed up the car and headed south to the little seaside town of Kiama. It wasn’t that far away nor so different from where we live, but it was a place where our family could solely spend time with one another without any external distractions.

We headed to a water park with the kids and even the older girls (and to be honest my husband and I too) were like little kids again, riding water slides and playing around. It was such a relaxed environment to have a few laughs and not worry about our day-to-day concerns. 

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We visited scenic lookouts to appreciate the natural beauty of the region and ate out every meal, getting the kids to try their tastebuds out on Mexican and Indian food.

This change of pace and scenery allowed our kids to interact in a way they seldom do at home when we are busy with our individual social lives. As much as we have amazing friends and our kids do too, the beauty of this weekend was time spent just as a family unit. I think this mini-break had such a profound effect because it is so different from the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives.

I took lots of photos in an effort to store away beautiful memories of this weekend, as I see my kids growing in front of my eyes everyday. I know that in the blink of an eye they will be grown up and that all the time we spend together now is priceless.

We are now back home in the normal weekly routine but all feeling calmer and more re-connected from our mini-break away. I’m just left bewildered by one thing – how can two days away create so much washing????