UNNECESSARY PAIN AND SUFFERING

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There are times as a parent when you know you will sacrifice your own happiness and be subjected to pain for the good of your child: pregnancy; childbirth; mastering breastfeeding; controlled crying etc, but today I unwittingly subjected myself to unbearable pain and suffering – I took my son and his friend to see the new Spongebob Squarepants Movie.

Don’t get me wrong – I love kid’s movies. The best ones appeal to adults on a whole different level than kids; they are clever, funny and cute. This movie was mind-numbing nonsense that left me thinking that the writers must have been seriously tripping on drugs when they came up with the weird (but not wonderful) scenarios in this films. As if a time-travelling master dolphin that shoots lasers out of his blowhole isn’t ridiculous enough, the pun-filled script leaves you thinking that hitting your thumb repeatedly with a hammer would be preferable than having to sit through the entirety of the film. There is a scene where ‘Plankton’ is subjected to the cruel torture of listening to Spongebob laughing – even the writers acknowledge listening to Spongebob is torturous! I can only think that someone has some serious dirt on Antonio Banderas to blackmail him into agreeing to appear in this film.

I know that I sound like a wet blanket and that someone should call the fun-police to arrest me, but another mother I was talking to at the end of the movie was equally as scathing in her assessment of the movie. That is 93 minutes of our lives that we will never get back!

Even my son was saying he didn’t really even understand the movie, which is no reflection on him. Unless you’re a tripping, cartoon-loving weirdo, I don’t think you would understand the film or the reason any movie producer would fund such rot.

Please heed my warning and save yourself the pain and suffering and go to see any other movie, because I guarantee, regardless of how bad a film it may be, there is no way it could be worse than ‘Spongebob Squarepants – sponge out of water!’

What kid’s movies have you loved or loathed?

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OBLIVIOUS

We are lucky to live in an amazing part if the world with beautiful waterways to explore.

Yesterday we were cruising on our boat and our youngest chose to watch a movie instead of take in the gorgeous scenery.

We came across the biggest pod of dolphins I have ever seen. About 50 of these beautiful creatures raced towards our boat to frolic in our wake and ride off the bow. It was one of those once in a lifetime moments when you are humbled by the experience of being so close to so many of these wild animals.

We called out to our son to come see this incredible spectacle, to which he replied, ‘It’s ok I’ve seen dolphins before. I don’t want to pause the movie.’ I couldn’t believe he was oblivious to the rarity of the situation and that he would choose a movie over such natural beauty. Of course we stopped his movie and made him join us, which in hindsight he was grateful for, although not initially.

Sometimes kids take things in their stride not realising the beauty and the privilege of the situation until it is over.

It’s not until you are an adult that you really marvel in nature’s beauty and appreciate how amazing the world around us is.

So until our kids have the maturity to recognise moments of natural glory, we will try to impress on them how lucky we are and take photos to share with them later in life.

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