All too often we wrap our kids up in cotton wool and do too much for them. The way to make your children responsible is to give them responsibility. As such, I think it character building for a child to help around the house. It’s not like I have my kids working in a sweatshop producing black market garments, but my kids all have chores.
I used to have a rotating schedule where one would pack the dishwasher this day, unpack it another day, set the table another and sweep the floor another. This was so confusing to keep track of whose day it was for each chore. One of my kids suggested that it would work better to have a chore day where they are responsible for all the chores for that whole day, but then have a few days off chores. We have adopted this system, which is great because now we all know who is responsible each day. I also added a clause that stipulated if the person on chores didn’t do all their chores on their day, then they would become responsible for the next day’s chores as well.
The chores my kids do aren’t that taxing. They unpack and pack the dishwasher (although each individual is responsible for putting their own plate in the dishwasher after use); they set the table and wipe it down after meals; they keep the bathroom tidy; replace bin liners and pick up dog poo. They are each expected to keep their rooms tidy and hang up towels after use, which you would think is easier than the other chores, but seems for them to be the hardest thing to enforce!
They get 20 cents per chore, which means at the end of the week they should have a few dollars pocket money if they have done everything set for them.
Discussing chores with friends, I’m always shocked to find out that most people I know do everything for their kids. Considering children make 90% of the mess in the house, shouldn’t they contribute with at least 10% of the cleaning?
I think when everything is done on your behalf you learn to expect that and have no appreciation for the effort outlaid to do the chores.
For example, on average I will do 10-12 loads of washing a week. My kids have no gratitude for the hours I spend collecting dirty clothes, sorting, washing, hanging out washing, bringing in washing, folding and putting clean clothes back in their wardrobes. The only time that I’m aware they know that I do this for them, is when they can’t find something they want to wear. I then have to draw upon a photographic memory to recall if I washed that item and where it is currently residing (more often than not, in a wash basket awaiting folding.)
I recently suggested that one of my daughters might like to earn $10 pocket money to fold up and put away the week’s washing. She was really keen, until she had folded about 6 items. She then declared it wasn’t worth it and left the washing to be folded by me. She didn’t persevere with the chore, but I hope it gave her an insight into what is involved in making sure she has clean clothes to wear.
There are so many years we do absolutely everything for our kids from wiping their bums to blowing their noses, so just as we relinquish these tasks to them, we should also include other jobs that assist the family as a whole.
Don’t underestimate the workforce you have bred!