THE SUB-STANDARD TOOTH FAIRY

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I just want to state for the record that the tooth fairy around my parts is slack and inattentive and should be pulled into line by the Tooth Fairy Godmother!

I think the problem started when my eldest daughter lost her first tooth. The event was highly anticipated after weeks of wobbling that sucker back and forth until it got to a point that it could freely swing around in her mouth. It took my husband asking if he could have a wobble of the tooth (before clamping it tight and wrenching it from my daughter’s mouth) to free it from her gums. Tears of pain, melded with tears of joy that she had, at last, lost her tooth and she was due for a visit from the magical tooth fairy. We put the tooth in a glass of water, which she left on the kitchen table while she got ready for bed. When she came down to say goodnight to her Dad, the glass was nowhere to be seen. ‘Go check upstairs in your bedroom’ I instructed and as she ran off I whispered to my husband, ‘Where’s the tooth?’ He had inadvertently thrown the water (containing said tooth) down the sink and packed the glass in the dishwasher. ‘What are we going to do?’ I hissed, frantically trying to come up with some way to resurrect this magical experience for my child. That’s when my husband came up with his cunning plan. He went into the yard and retrieved a small white pebble and put it in a glass of water. He then carried it up to our daughter’s room and placed it beside her bed whilst simultaneously turning out the light. We kissed her goodnight and she was none the wiser of this trickery. However, I think the tooth fairy didn’t take kindly to being duped of a real tooth and has since been slack in executing her duties.

This sub-standard tooth fairy has been known to arrive after the children have woken up in the morning and gone down to breakfast (although I do understand it is very time consuming for tooth fairies to get around to all the kids who have lost teeth and they sometimes run late!) As the kids have gotten older, the tooth fairy’s passion for her job has clearly waned and on one occasion, it took several weeks for her to arrive to collect a pre-molar. I put that down to the fact that even tooth fairies go on holidays sometimes.

The other gripe I have is that she isn’t always consistent in her payment for all children. My kids have informed me that some kids get $20 for a tooth, whilst they only receive $2 (or $5 for a front tooth). There needs to be a set schedule of rates that should be published so everyone knows what is a fair and equitable amount for each tooth.

I think in the scheme of things, our tooth fairy is doing a dreadful job and in my opinion, she really deserves to be fired!

 

 

Do you have a reliable tooth fairy? Let me know any tooth fairy stories you have.

(Picture courtesy of freedigitalphoto.net)

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One thought on “THE SUB-STANDARD TOOTH FAIRY

  1. Hahahaha! Goodness, these tooth fairies need to get it together! LOL Thanks for sharing this on twitter! I’m glad we’re not the only ones assigned with a forgetful fairy!

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